My comment below about Scott Hamilton was misinterpreted and I feel that I need to set the record straight as I'm getting waaaayyyyyy too many emails (uh, would it KILL any of you people to make your comments here instead of emailing me???) springing to his defense. So, here is what I meant by my comment in my Figure Skating Rant: when Scott won the Olympics in 1984, he was the first person to admit that his performance was not the best program he had ever skated; he left the ice and actually apologized to his coach. In newspaper articles following his return to Denver after those games, he was quoted explaining all this and saying he wished he'd skated a better program. The other night, when I was watching the men's long program, he made a somewhat snarky comment (although nothing approaching the bitchiness of Dick Button) about how the performances were generally pretty lackluster and disappointing for an Olympic competition. It was this comment which made me want to remind him of his own history, which I think is crucial for the commentators to bring to the table if they want to be liked by the viewers.
I was not attacking Scott Hamilton or his character; I in fact love Scott Hamilton and have never been a bigger fan of any other skater, ever, not even Dorothy Hamill (who was my childhood favorite but totally replaced by Scott when he hit the scene). For a time, we skated at the same rink, and he was friends with my coach, and he was always so friendly to anyone and everyone, young or old, good skater or shitty skater. As I mentioned in a comment below, he was once standing there talking to my coach when I was practicing at a competition, and I was having trouble with one of my jumps and he just threw in some very helpful, unsolicited advice; he could have not said a word, but instead he did because he's that kind of person. And there's not a soul you could find out there who would tell you that he's not one of the nicest people on the planet (with the possible exception of clearly on crack Tristen), even to this day. Everyone in skating loves him. Loves him.
But, in case I didn't make it clear, Dick Button is the Devil and Peggy Fleming is a dork.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Figure Skating Rant
What follows is an actual blog entry. I know, it's so unlike me.
I used to figure skate, so I feel qualified to offer up the following suggestions for improving the Olympics figure skating events:
1. Men should not do layback spins. EVER. In any circumstance.
2. Always let the Russians win. If the Russians don’t win, play their anthem anyway, but kick it up just a notch, tempo-wise. This anthem would make a really great drinking song. This can only make figure skating more popular with beer drinkers.
3. There’s this constant battle between technical prowess and artistry in figure skating. I vote for a sort of tag-team relay sort of program in which singles skaters go out as a two-person team and one does all the jumping and the other performs the artistic elements. This can only mean more gold medals to the winning country!
4. Also, crew cuts all around for the men. There’s nothing more distracting than a man’s floppy-ass hair flying all over his face for the duration of his long program.
5. It’s way past time for Peggy Fleming to pack it in and call it a day. I’m so tired of hearing someone who’s never done a triple jump in her life critique the performances of those who do 6 in one program.
6. Ditto Dick Button. There’s snarky, and then there’s Dick Button, who just sounds bitter and snippy, and has done so for as long as I’ve been watching figure skating on television. That’d be 30 years. Yeah, definitely time for him to give us all a rest. Does NBC think anyone actually LIKES Dick Button??
7. Also, someone should probably remind Scott Hamilton that his own gold-medal winning Olympics performance was not the very best he had to offer. What’s that saying about people in glass houses??
8. Actually, I think for commentating pay dirt, the networks broadcasting figure skating would be hard pressed to find a better duo than my mom and me. I think our comments dig a little deeper than “Ooh, and that fall is going to cost her!” We get to the heart of things, like whether or not men should be wearing sequins, or what haircuts work best on the women. The only trouble with us is our tendency to hysterical laughter when someone executes a particularly cheesey move (see number 1 above), or our need to Google the answers to whichever questions pop up during the course of someone’s long program.
9. Like I mentioned, I used to figure skate, so it’s a given that the sport attracts geeks and nerds of all levels. But it’s really a pity that they can’t get some hotties like Seth Wescott to compete. Again, if was more about the jumping and less about the pretty arm movements and flowing in-between moves… well, anyway…
10. Has anyone else ever noticed that ice-dancing is basically all about how well the couple can simulate intercourse on the ice? I have.
11. Actually, the sequins level on the women has become intolerable as well. I think it’s high time sequins were banned from the sport altogether. If you can’t catch the judges’ eyes without sequins, you’re not skating well enough.
And there you have it.
I used to figure skate, so I feel qualified to offer up the following suggestions for improving the Olympics figure skating events:
1. Men should not do layback spins. EVER. In any circumstance.
2. Always let the Russians win. If the Russians don’t win, play their anthem anyway, but kick it up just a notch, tempo-wise. This anthem would make a really great drinking song. This can only make figure skating more popular with beer drinkers.
3. There’s this constant battle between technical prowess and artistry in figure skating. I vote for a sort of tag-team relay sort of program in which singles skaters go out as a two-person team and one does all the jumping and the other performs the artistic elements. This can only mean more gold medals to the winning country!
4. Also, crew cuts all around for the men. There’s nothing more distracting than a man’s floppy-ass hair flying all over his face for the duration of his long program.
5. It’s way past time for Peggy Fleming to pack it in and call it a day. I’m so tired of hearing someone who’s never done a triple jump in her life critique the performances of those who do 6 in one program.
6. Ditto Dick Button. There’s snarky, and then there’s Dick Button, who just sounds bitter and snippy, and has done so for as long as I’ve been watching figure skating on television. That’d be 30 years. Yeah, definitely time for him to give us all a rest. Does NBC think anyone actually LIKES Dick Button??
7. Also, someone should probably remind Scott Hamilton that his own gold-medal winning Olympics performance was not the very best he had to offer. What’s that saying about people in glass houses??
8. Actually, I think for commentating pay dirt, the networks broadcasting figure skating would be hard pressed to find a better duo than my mom and me. I think our comments dig a little deeper than “Ooh, and that fall is going to cost her!” We get to the heart of things, like whether or not men should be wearing sequins, or what haircuts work best on the women. The only trouble with us is our tendency to hysterical laughter when someone executes a particularly cheesey move (see number 1 above), or our need to Google the answers to whichever questions pop up during the course of someone’s long program.
9. Like I mentioned, I used to figure skate, so it’s a given that the sport attracts geeks and nerds of all levels. But it’s really a pity that they can’t get some hotties like Seth Wescott to compete. Again, if was more about the jumping and less about the pretty arm movements and flowing in-between moves… well, anyway…
10. Has anyone else ever noticed that ice-dancing is basically all about how well the couple can simulate intercourse on the ice? I have.
11. Actually, the sequins level on the women has become intolerable as well. I think it’s high time sequins were banned from the sport altogether. If you can’t catch the judges’ eyes without sequins, you’re not skating well enough.
And there you have it.
More Pookish Fun
So, the Pooker's Nana spoils him rotten, a case in point being that she was out and about shopping at Target or some such store, and just happened by the toy aisle where she just happened to see a new Mega Blocks Pyrates set, with a raft made from shipwrecked wood and a feisty large shark capable of chomping on the mini-Pyrate figurines. And she, being as big a sucker for Pooker's big brown eyes as I am, bought it for him as a Valentine's Day gift. So here he is with the shark, demonstrating its chomping capabilities. And Daniel has been going around showing this toy off to anyone who will look at it for the last week, always making sure to add, "My Nana got it for me because my Nana spoils me up." Indeed she does.
And here, Daniel gives two thumbs up during a viewing of our favorite cartoon, The Batman. On the right, you can see my lovely new living room piece, Hot Wheels Gorilla Attack. It's available at Pottery Barn for 100 bucks.
And here, Daniel gives two thumbs up during a viewing of our favorite cartoon, The Batman. On the right, you can see my lovely new living room piece, Hot Wheels Gorilla Attack. It's available at Pottery Barn for 100 bucks.
Ahh, the Pookish One
Daniel displays his letter "O" artwork -- I thought it was cute and in keeping with the nautical spirit of the McEwen family, so had to get a snap of it:
Daniel eats dessert (haha, now I sound like one of those moms who sends out a weekly update every time their kid poops on the potty or something) -- I was actually trying to capture the mess that the push-up usually leaves on his face, but this time it was pretty clean:
Here Daniel is horrified by me asking him to try on the heart-shaped glasses he received in his Valentine's Day party bag from school:
And considerably less horrified by the mini-Monster Truck he received from his mommy:
I'm sorry, but you can't tell me he's not getting cuter as he gets older. Hehe...
Daniel eats dessert (haha, now I sound like one of those moms who sends out a weekly update every time their kid poops on the potty or something) -- I was actually trying to capture the mess that the push-up usually leaves on his face, but this time it was pretty clean:
Here Daniel is horrified by me asking him to try on the heart-shaped glasses he received in his Valentine's Day party bag from school:
And considerably less horrified by the mini-Monster Truck he received from his mommy:
I'm sorry, but you can't tell me he's not getting cuter as he gets older. Hehe...
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