Stuff I Would Tweet If I Could Be Arsed

Chuck E. Cheese is close to my version of what hell is probably like. Chuck E. Cheese with lots of spiders.

An hour of homework in the third grade is stupid. We don't even go to private school.

Is my new office the McDonald's of insurance? I've been promoted after only two months.

No one gives a shit about your wedding planning. Just send me an invite and make sure there's lots of free booze.

You know, high school in the 1980s was really not attractive. Not at all.

As soon as my son goes to bed and before Rob gets home, I'm watching 17 Again. Prime Zac Efron viewing time.

I don't care what Heather says. Bandslam looks like an okay movie.

I could really go for some decent barbecue.

Also, one time last summer the Dahls made homemade salsa out of their homegrown heirloom tomatoes. Sometimes I dream about that salsa.

I can't even tell you how bad my hair looks right now. It's almost like I've given up. Almost.

If I was having a baby boy, I'd name him Aragorn. Just to annoy people.

How can Degrassi suck so bad and yet be so good?

I just took a really funny Facebook quiz that told me how much Jesus thinks I suck. Except it wasn't supposed to be funny.

Yay! Journalists Released!

I was excited this morning when I heard that Bill Clinton traveled solo to North Korea to meet with "so ronry" Kim Jong Il in an attempt to secure the release of Euna Kim and Laura Ling, the two American journalists sentenced to 12 years in a North Korean hard labor prison camp following their March arrest for "illegally entering North Korea" and "committing hostile acts." I had followed the case kind of obsessively owing to my secret fear that someday I will be arrested and imprisoned in a scary country that we have few diplomatic ties with... which is far fetched at best, given that I rarely leave the greater-North American area. Also, North Korea gives me the creeps. So I was heartened to see that someone was sent... although the Obama administration denies that Bill was "sent," or came bearing any messages from said administration.

Whatever. It worked and the two journalists are actually on their way home on the plane with Clinton and some fine looking Secret Service agents. They looked all right -- there was some footage of them walking toward the plane and boarding with President Clinton, and one of them (I think it was Laura Ling) smiled slightly as she declined one of his aide's offers to carry her bags.

Obviously I fall into the camp of people who believe it's better to send someone important to kiss Jong Il's ronry little ass and offer up a fake apology to secure the release of wrongly imprisoned American citizens, rather than not dealing with "these people" and letting our citizens rot in prison.