Politics As Usual

I admit it: I am a Canadian citizen who has lived in the United States for 32 years with no intention of ever becoming a U.S. citizen, and yet, as a taxpayer, I do feel entitled to bitch all I want about the state of the States. You can shriek at me till you're blue in the face about how if I don't vote, I don't get to complain, and I will still not buy that. It's what makes America such a fabulous country: I can say whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want to say it. I hear tell that there are other places in the world where this sort of thing is frowned upon, and I love that I can do it here, and know they'd have shot me long ago in North Korea or wherever (I'm conjecturing -- I don't know much about life in North Korea, so I have no way of knowing how they treat dissenters there. I'm just assuming that in a country where you're expected to bow down to statues of your leader, shooting loudmouth dissenters is de rigeur).

And here's why I have yet to decide to become a citizen and bother voting (yes, I said bother): with candidates like these, who the hell would I vote for? Here's what one Congressional race in Colorado is right now: the Uber-Evil Marilyn Musgrave versus Angie "I'll Beat Your Ass Up" Paccione. And neither of them can give me one good reason to vote for them; instead, it's "Here's all the reasons why you shouldn't vote for her." And it's not like this is a phenomena related to this one race -- it's every race. To the best of my knowledge, the only positive campaign ad I've seen all season has been one in which a Democratic challenger for Congress has his daughters sing his praises in a very cute ad which constantly ran just before an attack ad from some group opposing his opponent. And unfortunately, he'd probably be a decent candidate, except I would excpect a truly decent candidate to stand up in public and say, "I'm sorry, I didn't authorize that ad, and I'm above its negative content. Since I'm the right choice for your vote, I don't feel a need to attack my opponent."

When that candidate comes along, I will perhaps look into handing over roughly $1,000 of my hard-earned salary to the Department of Homeland Security to process my paperwork and offer me citizenship.

There's something so depressing to me about having to cast a vote for the lesser of two evils, or to have to vote along party lines (and even now, you can't trust the Democrats to take care of a woman's right to choose or to children ahead of fighting a losing war) just to vote out evil members of the Religious Wrong (that's right, bitches -- I called you "evil," just like you call me and my single parenting, and my gay friends, and my Jewish son -- and I believe in your evilness more than you believe in God! Whaddya gonna do about it??). I admire those of you who do so with all the conviction you possess that you are doing the right thing.

In the meantime, I'm still a Canadian.