I take it back...

I realize this is my own fault for making gross cultural generalizations and then watching The Bachelor because nothing else is on, but what I said about assuming that British men are always funnier and smarter than American men? It is no longer true. Witness:

THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING! MATT GRANT - THE FIRST INTERNATIONAL BACHELOR - STORMS AMERICAN SHORES TO FIND TRUE LOVE, WHEN THE BACHELOR RETURNS TO ABC, MONDAY, MARCH 17

New Bachelor Heartthrob Loves London and All It Has to Offer, But is Crazy About American Women

Matt Grant, 27, a handsome global financier from London is out to prove that love has no borders when he steps into his role as the first-ever international Bachelor, searching for a woman who can be the love of his life and start a family with him. Matt begins his pursuit of his ultimate soul mate when the 12th edition of ABC's popular romance reality series, The Bachelor, premieres with a 90-minute special, MONDAY, MARCH 17 (9:32-11:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network.

Matt, the 6'5", blue-eyed business development manager who works with millionaire businessmen and is crazy about American women, wowed the 25 bachelorettes hoping to be the love of his life. This totally charming English gentleman has something on his mind that is more urgent than any business deal -- he wants to find the love of his life and to start a family as soon as possible. The youngest of five brothers, the rest of whom are married, Matt is very close to his parents and siblings. His parents are still best friends and have a sexy relationship, even after 30 years together. The native of Bishop Stortford, a short distance from London, Matt received his B.A. in modern history and politics from Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge. His fondest dream is to share stories and a laugh at the end of the day with someone special, and his sexy good looks, intelligence and strong family ties make him a perfect catch.

Romantic and adventurous dates will reach new heights this season, as some of the women are taken to a sexy fashion show only to be surprised to find out they are the models. Las Vegas is the backdrop for a glittering evening of gambling and partying in a fabulous suite at the Paris Las Vegas hotel. One woman is treated to a private Hollywood movie screening of Columbia Pictures' Made of Honor, starring Patrick Dempsey, at the legendary Mann's Chinese Theater, as the couple gets the "red carpet" treatment by the paparazzi. A sexy game of rugby -- Matt's favorite English sport -- a fun afternoon of tennis and English tea, a classic 50s Americana date, a home-cooked meal by the Bachelor himself and a glamorous group date on the snowy slopes of Sun Valley, Idaho, will test the ladies' perseverance in pursuing their romantic objective, along with fun, exciting and exotic dates that will elicit real and raw passions. As in the past, women will continue to be eliminated each week, but if at any point along the way a woman should decide that she's no longer interested in the Bachelor, she can reject his invitation to continue dating. Some lucky women will meet his family, and he will visit their hometowns for a slice of their life in an effort to determine the woman with whom he is most compatible. At the end of the journey, the Bachelor may quite possibly have found true love. But the big question is: After all of this, will he pop the question, and will she say yes? Hosted by Chris Harrison, The Bachelor is from Next Entertainment in association with Warner Horizon Television. Mike Fleiss, David Bohnert and Martin Hilton are executive producers.

Now, I will concede that the toolishness inherent in the above press release is solely the fault of the person who wrote it, and those responsible for the plague that is The Bachelor. But what kind of tool gets himself involved in this situation? Someone made the argument that it's a free home and lots of hot chicks for however many weeks it lasts, but you would think that a man who works with millionaire businessmen and is reasonably attractive about the face would be able to afford decent housing and bag a few hot chicks without the added humiliation of having America watch it on television for their amusement (and we are, I admit, an easily amused bunch).

But I sat through about 10 minutes of the first episode, and the guy looked stunned, and it was really difficult to tell if he was thinking, "Wow, I'm overwhelmed by all the lovely ladies in the room," or if he was thinking, "Oh Christ, what did I get myself into?"

One sort of hopes he's doing it on a dare.