Weird Phase and Some Thoughts on Twilight

I wonder why they didn't let Miranda Lambert use her gun for the new Cotton ad. I wonder if it was difficult for her to part with her guns for the length of time required to film the ad. I wonder why these things plague me the way they do.

I'm going through a weird phase this past week where I want nothing more than to sit down at my kitchen table and scrapbook, and at the same time I want to be working on my novel, and at the same time as that I want to be online shopping for Christmas gifts so I never have to go inside a mall again or join that holiday season line at the local Best Buy. And at the same time as all that I want the house to be clean and the laundry to be finished and the supper to taste delicious. And at the same time as that, I want to read the three books I've got lined up. And so because of all the thought processes involved in all that, I have no energy to actually do any of it. And I just sit in the chair and watch mediocre television and fuck around on Facebook.

My sensibilities are so offended by the trailers for the new Twilight movie. I love how Kristen Stewart was recently quoted as saying she doesn't want to be a celebrity, she wants to be an actress, but then she's signed up to do these Twilight movies, which require only that she can make that slightly tortured-looking face and occasionally scream. I get why teenage girls are into Twilight, I really do -- I'm sure it seems really romantic when you're, like, 15 and have no world view whatsoever. But I still cringe every time I hear another one of my grown up woman friends saying she loves Twilight. Part of it is that I feel a bit of "been there, done that" attitude over the whole vampire thing -- back in my day, we had Interview With the Vampire and that hottie Lestat. And the other part of it is that the Twilight books are some of the shittiest writing I've ever seen. Seriously. I can't decide who's cheesier -- Stephenie Meyer, or Judith McNaught -- she of Paradise and Perfect fame. It might be a toss up.

Plus I kind of wish Stephenie Meyer would spell her name correctly, because no one's fooled by that extra "e" -- we all know she was called Stephanie by her parents in a decade where 1 in 3 baby girls were called either Stephanie or Jennifer.

Also I was totally craving peppermint flavour salt water taffy over the weekend, but when I got to Sunflower to buy some, they had cinnamon in its place, mislabeled as peppermint. So I bought some Christmas Nougat at King Soopers in the hopes they'd be a worthy substitute, but it turns out the Christmas Nougat is too strongly pepperminty. So now, because I didn't get my proper taffy, I can't stop thinking about it. I might have even dreamed about it last night, but I can't confirm or deny.

We have our air conditioner on because our crazy ass neighbors apparently have their heat cranked up to 11.