Wednesday, May 02, 2007


Some of you might know that I am one of that rare and most irritating breed of drivers, the kind who drive mostly at the posted speed limit or maybe up to 5 miles an hour above, unless I am out on the open highway in which case I will take it up to about 19 over the limit. I drive this way for practical as well as safety reasons -- being an insurance agent, I see daily the toll speeding takes on a person's insurance premiums, and I also see details of the sorts of grisly accidents that happen when someone who thinks they're a good driver speeds and loses control of their vehicle -- total freakish accidents, and always attributable to speed. I also have issues with people who speed with their children in the car; I think it is all fine and well to take one's own life into one's hands by speeding or driving carelessly, but not a child's. You'll find that 93% of police officers agree with me on that, and anytime you're pulled over by one of that 93% for speeding with your child in the vehicle, you will never talk your way out of a ticket.

But it's not generally something I get up on a soapbox about or anything; I could care less what you do when you're driving your car as long as it doesn't affect me directly. I'm not going to lecture anyone for driving like a maniac unless they are taking my son somewhere, and occasionally I'll let someone know I'm not in a huge hurry if I'm in the care with them and they happen to be barreling down the road at twice the speed limit or something.

What does irritate me to no end is this: police cars who are sitting in a speed trap who don't pull anyone over when a car flies past at several miles an hour over the limit. What are they waiting for, someone to cause an accident, and then they'll start dishing out tickets? What is the point of the speed trap when no one has to actually slow down?

So imagine my neverending delight this afternoon at the following scenario: I'm driving back to the office from an appointment, actually doing about 10 over the limit for a change because I'm feeling sorta zany. I'm coming up to the place on this freeway where the speed limit abruptly goes down to 45 from 55, and where cops often set up a speed trap. I'm out in the left lane because amazingly, I was driving faster than the people in the right lane -- this is rare for me any more, it really is. As the traffic crests the hill, the lower speed limit sign is there, and just a little ways ahead, I and anyone else with half a brain can see one of Colorado's finest parked on the right, just outside the trailer park, waiting... and everyone slows down.

Everyone, that is, except the jackhole who came flying up behind me at 70 miles an hour, slammed his brakes on three inches from my bumper, and proceeded to switch abruptly from left lane to right and back to the left, trying to get around me and all the other slow drivers. I mean, am I really expected to believe he didn't see the cop? Everyone else did! And sure enough, as I'm cruising along at a safe distance behind the car in front of me, I see the cop put his car into gear, turn on his lights, and make his way into the traffic. And the jackhole behind me just rides my bumper some more, and then veers again into the right lane, and accelerates, and the cop got right behind him and pulled the halfwit over.

It was all I could do not to put my hands in the air in a victory gesture. What a stupid moron. I hope he got ticketed for following too close in addition to the ticket for speeding 20 miles an hour over the limit. 4 points! Haha. He'll be paying for that ticket for three years by way of an increased insurance premium. Hope it was worth it. Don't see how it could've been, given that he had to stop for the cop and all, and didn't even get where he was going 5 seconds faster than he would have if he'd just slowed down with the rest of us...

It was totally awesome.