Thursday, May 20, 2010


I just had this conversation with an old (guy) friend from high school who recently friended me on Facebook wherein it was clear he had me confused with my older sister. I mean, he and I hung out for two years of high school, did choir and theatre together, had tons of friends in common, and even walked to and from school together on occasion, when he wasn't riding his bike. We were pretty good friends. Not close friends, but we were definitely friends. We definitely talked to each other a lot. But he asked me about my older sister, and I told him where she's at and what she's doing and what she's like these days. And he was really quite shocked to hear what she's like and made a bit of a fuss over that being so unlike her when he knew her. And then he insisted that I was always the quiet one.

The quiet one?? Me??

I don't think so.

But then I thought about it and realized that this is the second time in about two weeks that someone has described me as "quiet." The first time, it was someone who worked in the same office as me, but working for different people than I worked for -- so we weren't coworkers, but we worked together, if that makes sense. And she said "You were always so quiet in that office." And I just laughed and laughed, because none of my coworkers would say I was ever quiet, not even back then.

So that was weird. But even weirder was having this conversation with this old friend and knowing he thought I was my sister, and him asking me all these questions about my sister but really meaning me... it all got very meta in a way.

This seems to be kind of a guy thing. I've had this happen several times getting reacquainted with old friends on Facebook. Women have these weirdly photographic memories of where and when they knew you -- not all women, but in general, they do. Whereas the men... I seriously have one guy friend who didn't even remember that we went to college together in addition to high school... but he used to hang out with me at college allllll the time. It's like they remember your name, and have a vague idea of where they met you, but details... not so much. Whereas I have female friends that I haven't even seen since junior high who can tell me what my favorite shirt was in 8th grade. I have a guy friend from high school -- we were practically inseparable for three years! -- who confused me with one of my best friends and hasn't communicated with me at all ever since I gently corrected him about a year ago. Whereas my former best friend can remember who my all-time favorite drummer is (Larry Mullen Jr. from U2).

It's just... weird.

But maybe it's weirder that more than one person has accused me of being "quiet."