Friday, April 29, 2011

Thoughts on the Royal Wedding

Evil Rob had to pee at 4:36am this morning, and you know what that means -- it required a lot of noise to get in and out of bed and walk to and from the bathroom. So naturally I woke up, and we all know I can't get back to sleep at that hour, so I figured to hell with it, and tuned into the Royal Wedding.

First of all, Kate -- excuse me, Catherine -- looked beautiful. And I love it that she looked like herself. The dress, while not as drama as some people might have been hoping, was gorgeous, and totally her. She didn't do anything insane to her hair or wear too much makeup (Princess Eugenie, I'm talking to you) -- because she knows that when you've got it going on, you've got it going on.

Some other random thoughts I had while watching...

-- Prince Harry got the good head of hair in that family, didn't he?

-- Also, who thought it was a good idea to leave him in charge of the children's carriage? Or was that punishment for something -- sticking Prince Harry at the equivalent of the children's table for the duration of that ride?

-- You know Prince Harry is never getting married now, after all this. And if he does, he's eloping to Vegas (or okay, Monte Carlo!) and letting the chips fall where they may.

-- We're obsessed with this wedding in America because the closest we've ever come is the televised wedding of Trista and Ryan. A Bachelorette and the fireman she loves. That's the best we can do.

-- I think we can all agree that the Queen took her fashion cues from Luna Lovegood and accordingly, wore sun colours for the wedding.

-- I laughed when they cut to shots of the crowd, and all the people over 50 were singing along with the hymns, and all the people under 30 were giving them looks like, "You are SO embarrassing to be around." The 30-and-40-somethings were, of course, oblivious.

-- Wow! That kiss did take place at exactly 1:25pm, didn't it? I for one appreciated the extra little kiss. I'm sure they did that just for me.

-- Speaking of which, I'm certain that as soon as the doors shut behind them, they were like, "What is wrong with these people?" Referring to the throngs who'd waited days in the streets just to watch them roll by.

-- On the other hand, I think it's nice that we can still all come together over something nice, instead of only after a tragedy, or to fight with one another.

-- Also, I think we can all agree that Pippa has a really nice ass. I'm sure she'll be watching this on video days from now and thinking, "My ass looks enormous," because that's what women do, but I would just like her to know she's wrong.

-- I spend way too much time thinking about asses. I know. And yet.

Anyway, congrats, you crazy kids!

Saturday, April 02, 2011


Saffron rice for breakfast. Kind of wish I'd been born into a culture where that's acceptable behavior.

Watching the VH-1 Top 20 Countdown. The new 30 Seconds to Mars video has the boys thinking they're the fucking Clash or Queen or something. It's good to dream, but... you know, come on. No one even remembers the REAL name of your lead singer. Everyone just calls him "Jordan Catalano."

Also, I'm pretty sure that the first person my son would want to see after being rescued from kidnapping by terrorists is not My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way.

Bad videos are better than no videos, though.

I got my first stitches ever the other night! I shouldn't be so excited about it. I cut my finger with a sharp kitchen knife while cutting an onion. It was the onion's fault. So we had to roll on over to Urgent Care and I got some stitches while Evil Rob and the doctor discussed the first season of "The Walking Dead." Which was way better than what Evil Rob did after it first happened: sat at the computer and ignored me while completing his fantasy baseball draft.

I was going to post a review of this great book I read, The Botticelli Secret, but there's not a lot to say about it other than it was totally fun and entertaining. It's about a young woman in Renaissance Italy who gets drawn into this political plot after modeling for Botticelli. She and this Franciscan monk follow all these clues in the painting to solve a mystery, and along the way they fall in love. Of course. So it's historical chick lit, basically. So fun.

Is it just me, or does "Source Code" look like the most goddamn boring movie ever??

A bonus included in one's viewing of VH-1 is all the ads for class action lawsuits against drug manufacturers. Did you know that nearly every single problem your baby has ever had in their entire life was caused by the drugs you took when she was in the womb?????

Yeah. I know.