Friday, July 15, 2005

Nice turn signal, Jackass!

Yeah, I'm talking to you. The same twit who can't move a finger half an inch to their left and flick the turn signal mechanism either up or down to indicate which way you might be going next while I'm forced to sit behind you and guess. I know, I know -- it's really hard to drive AND operate the finer points of the vehicle at the same time. Remind me not to get near you on the road when it rains, since you won't be able to see where you're going owing to your lack of ability to turn on the windshield wipers. What's odd though, is that you seem to have little or no trouble changing your radio station, or handing your kids stuff from your bag in the front seat to where they sit in the backseat, or yammering away on your cell phone while steering with just the one hand.

And I also love it when you're on the highway, doing 70 miles per hour, and I'm supposed to know you want to get into my lane based solely upon the fact that you're swivelling your head in my general direction. Sorry, man, I don't do head signals with complete strangers. I need your turn signal, and then, if, and only if, I'm in a position to do so, will I slow my own car down and let you in. Please re-read your drivers ed manual (they are free at the DMV) and attempt to comphrehend the part that says I am under NO obligation to let you in, especially if doing so will cause me to operate my motor vehicle in an unsafe manner.

And it goes without saying that there comes a point where you just shouldn't even bother with your turn signal -- like AFTER you've already swerved into my land and cut me off, or when you're halfway around the turn. At that point, it's just too damn late.

But if you weren't such a fucking jackass, you'd know that already.

2 comments:

Georgias Maximus, Feline Esq. said...

You sound a little miffed... You need to be gelling... ;->

What you really need is down time with your Pooker, your HBP, and your IPod...

Why does warm weather make for worse driving than any other? It's as though some folks just can't handle all that sunlight...

melissa said...

Can't...stop...laughing...

Oh, Dolor, that gelling comment was just too good. I'm lucky I wasn't drinking at the time or I probably would've spit all over the screen! In an especially good mood for some reason.

You know, that's one of the eternal, burning questions that we as a society tend to ask? What is wrong with people?

Are drivers as bad in Colorado as they are in say...Virginia? Michigan? Ohio? South Carolina? hese places are home to some of the laziest, self-centered, asshat drivers ever!!! Seriously, for such a mild-mannered person as I am, you should see me on the road. It's not pretty. I swear and make sarcastic comments at everyone because I don't like having my life put in danger by some dickwad who has to cut into the one carlength in front of me when there's no one behind me on a highway or have someone pull out in front of me because they figure "Oh, they'll stop." My car may be old and falling apart, but it's mine, dammit, and the stupid laws here won't force the person that I crash with to pay to fix it. They won't even get a ticket. No-fault accidents/insurance is the suckiest thing ever! Their insurance goes up. So what. Chances are, judging from the bigass SUV they're driving that they can afford it. I can't.

Sorry, I guess ranting is contagious. In other news, I'm squeeing like a schoolgirl! 3 hours, 57 min!!! :D