Saturday, August 13, 2005

Wal Mart, Target and Foley's and the Optimal Route

Shopping has really become difficult, has it not? I mean, you want to pick up a number of items, and you'd think with the vast warehouses we call "stores" these days, that you could get it all in one place, but you're sadly mistaken. And then you wind up having a day in which you hit Wal Mart, Target, and Foley's, plus a number of considerably tiny stores in between, all in one day. So I made a shopping list this morning, and as I readied myself to go out (in the rain, no less!), I realized that I had to go to more than one store to obtain the items on my list. Not only that, but I had to go to five separate areas of town to get to all these stores. It came to pass that the list of stores I had to hit was a longer list than what I needed to get at those stores. How could that be, you ask? I don't know -- I suck at math. But what I can tell you is that the math course I earned three college credits for back in 1990, Applied Math for Arts and Humanities Majors, came in handy today as I made my mental diagram of the Optimal Route for my shopping/errand excursion. So for all those of you wondering when you're ever going to use your math skills (unless you're my sister and it's in your job description) in real life, Applied Math is really the way to go.

Herewith, I will share my Optimal Route:

Left neighborhood; traveled west on Yale Ave. to King Soopers center to drop videos at library.

Continued south to Hampden Ave.; travelled west on Hampden Ave. to Englewood City Center to drop books at THAT library (hmm... sticking to one library in the first place MAY have simplified things).

Continued west on Hampden to junction with State Highway 121, also known as Wadsworth Blvd. Exited southbound; arrived at Wal Mart at intersection of Wadsworth and Quincy circa 10:04a.m.

Entered Wal Mart store, took cart proffered by friendly senior citizen inside front doors, and headed for the cosmetics aisle for lotion. Wandered through school supplies looking for new Batman backpack for Daniel. Arrived in Bed and Bath department at rear of store; located comforter for my comforter cover. Found Batman and Star Wars twin sheet sets on clearance. Picked up set of bath towels in lime green. Made my way next to the electronics department to upload photos for 19-cent prints; some dolt was hogging machine, going through his photo card picture by picture (some of us are courteous and do that at home first, making a disc with ONLY the photos we want printed, so as not to hog the frickin' machine once we're at Wal Mart; I mean, it's not like there aren't 20 other people waiting to use it!!!!), so I wandered aimlessly about DVD section for a few minutes till he surely had to be done. He wasn't, so I stood behind him using time-honored trick of tapping my foot and looking all blase. Finally was allowed chance to upload photos. Paid for other stuff; went to car.

Travelled south on Wadsworth to the Toys R Us intersection. Went into store, purchased one Batman backpack and made pitstop in bathroom that was only marginally cleaner than the one at Wal Mart; should have just waited till I got to the mall.

Travelled south on Wadsworth to the mall; parked outside Foley's downstairs entrance. Veered right to Plus Size Women's Department to look at clearance items; made a number of purchases. Took escalator to Bed and Bath Department; purchased one Tommy Hilfiger denim bedspread for Pooker's room, and one fleecey bath rug in lime green.

Travelled west on Bowles then south on Kipling toward parents' area of town but furhter west so as to stop for lunch at Chik Fil A. Did drive thru. Drove to parents' house.

Ate lunch. Matted Daniel's Batman and Star Wars posters on foam core and cut with large Xacto knife on Dad's workbench. Bonded with Dad, who was photographing knots (I'm just going to leave it at that so that everyone thinks my dad is a weird freak who photographs knots for fun, mwuahahahahahahaha). Checked on computer for some stuff I needed, then once again hit the road.

Drove east to Aspen Grove Shopping Center. Visited Eddie Bauer (no purchases), Pottery Barn (coasters), Williams-Sonoma (no purchases), and Aveda (shampoo, conditioner, scalp treatment, skin toner, hair goo). Returned to car.

Headed north then west, back to mall area, but went instead to Target. Wandered aimlessly to back of store and looked at throw pillows and blankies. Purchased: drying rack; plastic storage boxes for Daniel's room; toothbrushes; floss; Warped Tour 2005 cd. Back to car.

North on Wadsworth to Wal Mart once again. Returned towels purchased earlier; they did not match new rug. Picked up photos and a large container of liquid Tide. It weighed a bloody ton. Noticed scent of cheap plastic mixed with fried food (Der Wienerschnitzel) in the air and felt all life slowly draining from my veins as a result of bad lighting and bad smells. Couldn't get back to comfort of my car fast enough.

Drove north on Wadsworth then east on Hampden to home. Listened to my February 2005 mix on iPod on the way.

So as you can see, it's been a really rough day. I mean, I still had to stuff the comforter into the comforter cover after all that was done!!

3 comments:

Georgias Maximus, Feline Esq. said...

Lime green?!?!?!?

Shannon said...

Oh hell yes. I love lime green. It's actually more an avocado color, but all the clothing and household supplies people call it lime. It's more the color of something lime-flavored than an actual lime. Like a lime popsicle.

Georgias Maximus, Feline Esq. said...

Hey, Shannon!

Where are you? How are you?