Of all the mentors the producers of American Idol could choose, the one that would make me the most indifferent is Mariah Carey. Talk about a bunch of songs I could care less about -- these would be them. It's like I don't even care -- I have no emotion invested in tonight's Idol proceedings. I don't even care that Simon was mean to two of my faves. Because the whole thing is like, snoooooorrrrrrrrre. At least some other mentor would annoy me to death (for example, Jennifer Lopez, last year, who is SO not qualified to be giving anyone else singing tips, let alone a group of people who are better singers than she will ever be), or capture my mild interest (I hear Neil Diamond will be mentoring this season, so I'm hoping one of the contestants will kick out "Sweet Caroline"). But Mariah Carey... does nothing for me. One way or the other. I find now that I am old that her shriek thing doesn't even bother me. It used to fill me with unspeakable rage, but now, I'm just chill with it -- it's her shtick, and everyone needs shtick every now and then. Her ubertight clothing doesn't even get my goat like it once did. Could it be that the afternoon I once spent watching Glitter actually softened my heart towards her? I have no idea. I'm just like whatever.
But you know what? I would totally hug Mariah Carey, like all the contestants did. She looks like she has really nice-smelling hair.