Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A little epiphany for my Tuesday morning...

So I was just sitting here eating some crackers and tuna salad for breakfast, attached work-related emails to files, when I opened up an email from NaNoWriMo asking me to take their Participant Survey. And at the end of the survey was an opportunity to enter a drawing for a place in an online revision workshop, which of course I entered. And a link took me to the website of the organisation that offers the workshop, and I was thinking maybe I'd register for it in the event I don't win a place in the drawing (because let's face it, I never win anything, other than Evil Rob's undying love and affection, which I guess is way better than winning stuff like scrapbooking supplies or online classes). But then I balked at the cost.

And then I thought about it some more. And first I compared it to the cost of a scrapbooking retreat. Which I never balk at. Ever. Someone could be all, "500 bucks" and I'd be all, "Sign me up!" Because I love scrapbooking, and love scrapbooking retreats even more. And usually go on two per year.

But writing... writing is supposed to be this solitary struggle, right? I mean, I used to take a lot of workshops, but got into a rut with what I was working on in those workshops, and decided a few years back that it was time to just get it done and forget about workshopping -- well, we can all see how that worked out, since I've never actually finished my first novel. I dug myself into a giant rut and allowed life to get in the way of my dream of being a published writer. And then almost forgot about that dream altogether.

And so I realized that it was ridiculous of me to not want to spend money on a writing workshop, but I think nothing of spending money on scrapbooking classes and retreats all year long. Writing is what I want to do, what I've always done, who I am. Scrapbooking is my hobby.

In the end, not all that earth-shattering. But to me, maybe it is a little bit world changing.


Stacey Peterson said...

I think this is more common than you'd think. You should read "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield (I think that's his name? He wrote The Legend of Bagger Vance). It's all about all the shit we do to sabotage ourselves and keep ourselves from doing what we really wish we were doing in life. Puts a reason behind procrastination and other bad habits - I thought it was really helpful (considering I spend every morning debating whether to watch reruns of Glee or hit the studio to actually do something productive).

Shannon said...

Ooh, I found that book for Kindle and started reading it at lunchtime today. It's the story of my life.