I have to confess to watching nearly every awards show that comes on television -- I'm not sure what the powers that be would call this particular illness, but it must be something to do with obsessing far too much on celebrities and how their hair is looking at any given event. I don't believe an Oscars telecast can ever be too long, or that the Grammy Awards can ever be boring (how can they be, when they're doled out so seemingly randomly, and you get the added bonus of seeing a trainwreck like J-Lo "singing" with her latest husband??).
But my favorite moments are always the ones in which the cameras cut to a nominee who didn't win just after the actual winner was announced, and the nonwinner looks all pissed off. This never fails to delight me. And it's always some dumbass who was quoted many, many times pre-awards as saying, "It's an honor just to be nominated, so it's not important if I win or not." So on that note, a list of some of my favorite such moments:
1. An all-time classic: Elisabeth Shue, when nominated for Best Actress for "Leaving Las Vegas." She looked downright pissed off when the other person won -- she looked so pissed off, that I can't even remember who it was that won or what year this was; this is now all that I remember from this particular Oscars show.
2. A new one that will take me a few years to forget: Gwen Stefani at this year's Grammy's, when No Doubt lost out to Los Lonely Boys for Best Pop Song by A Duo or Group. She had the *ahem* misfortune of being seated directly in front of the winners, and of course the cameras caught her looking all sour-faced and not even turning to congratulate the guys in Los Lonely Boys. Who, by the way, were totally shocked that they won, which I always love -- the people who don't get up there with a speech prepared. Surely Gwen had to know that the Los Lonely Boys were new and far more interesting than her band and their rehash of "It's My Life," which didn't sound any different than it did in 1984 or whenever it was we all first heard it. The whole thing confirmed for me that I've made the right decision to never buy a No Doubt cd, or patronize this band in any way.
3. Another new but classic moment of Total Un-Class: Leonardo DiCaprio at this year's Oscars. Did he seriously think he had a chance, up against Clint Eastwood, Johnny Depp, and Jamie Foxx?? So they call Jamie Foxx's name, and the ENTIRE place is on its feet for a standing ovation... the entire place except Leo, his girlfriend (supermodel Gisele, so now she's classless also), and the two people next to them, who I believe were a producer of "The Aviator" and his spouse, but you can correct me if I'm wrong. I mean, I think we can all agree that Leo's nomination was more a nod to the fact that the Academy sees him growing as an actor and they liked his choice of roles, and someday down the road, it might be his time to win, rather than an actual chance at winning this year. I like to think I know how these people think.
4. I believe this was at an MTV Awards ceremony and I think it was about two years ago, when Evanescence (Evannoying seems more appropo) won the Best New Artist Award, and 50 Cent walked up onstage with them, seemingly in protest at not having received the award himself. This was a tough call for me to make because from where I sat (on the sofa, in my living room), it almost looked like Fitty was just heading up to congratulate the winners. But all reports the next day were that he was just doing it to be a jerk because he didn't win himself. This is also a toughie for me because part of me takes great sympathy with Mr. Cent. He really was the better new artist, and probably should have won. But unlike the Motion Picture Academy, I have NO idea what goes on in the heads of those who vote on the MTV Awards.
5. It was the Grammy's last year when Justin Timberlake won some award for some crappy song in the same category in which a bunch of R&B guys with a lot more street cred were also nominated. I swear that not a single rapper/hip-hop/R&B artist within the first 10 rows of that place were remotely amused when he got up and did his thing where he tries to "talk black." He's pretty white. I think they could tell. I think they were pissed.
Yeah, this is the sort of thing that keeps me awake at night.