Today is my birthday. Number 39. So I shall do my traditional birthday resolutions. 39 of them. Herewith, I resolve to:
1). Seek actual medical treatment for my PMDD. Otherwise, my husband is going to divorce me. Actually, he won't even dare to divorce me because he will fear my wrath. He'll have to fake his own disappearance a la Olivia Newton John's boyfriend, and sneak out in the middle of the night, and they'll find him 10 years later in a Florida meth lab/trailer park, with a full beard and long hair as his only disguise. And when they ask why he left, he'll say it was because his wife was turning into a psychopath 7 days of every month and he just couldn't take it anymore.
Plus, it makes me absolutely miserable.
2). Listen more to my Mary-Chapin Carpenter cds. I first came to know and love MCC through this stupid tribute show to women in country music back in 1994, and it seemed that she was the organizer of the whole thing because they sang one of her songs at the end, as the Big Production Number. She is not quite country, not quite folk, not quite rock, but always quite lovely. Plus she made a hit out of a Lucinda Williams song. That's just cool.
3). Drop a few pounds. Honestly, until I address a couple of other health issues, I'm pretty sure I don't have the will to lose all that I need to lose, but at the very least, I'd like fit into my pretty summer clothes again, which are size 16W and 18W. It is a sad state of affairs when you're wanting to lose weight so you can fit into smaller clothes that are still plus size clothes, but that's what happens when you're a lazy shit like me.
4). Blog more. Instead of Twittering and updating my Facebook status in blogging's place. Or filling out silly Facebook surveys. Which I love to do, but end up annoying myself when I do that instead of blog. So I'll try to be better.
5). Look at more art.
6). Take a cooking class. An Indian cooking class. Or something fun like that.
7). See better movies. We went to Best Picture Showcase at AMC Theatres this past weekend. It raised the bar. Considerably. Like, I'll still watch the crap on DVD or PPV, but when we're gonna spend 11 bucks on a ticket, we'll aim to be more discerning.
8). Re-examine my career. Find a direction. Make some decisions, set some goals. Figure shit out.
9). Yell less.
10). Laugh more.
11). Love better.
12). Purchase robot for doing laundry.
13). Seek to feel zen about laundry.
14). Do some yoga.
15). Not take American Idol so personally.
16). Not get pissed when people ask why I "need" an 80-gig iPod. No one fucking needs an iPod. No one needs a Shuffle or a Nano or a Touch. No one needs 4-gig or 8-gig or even 16 or more. My 80-gig iPod holds my music collection. No, I do not NEED to carry my entire music collection every single place I go. But I do like to carry my entire music collection every single place I go. Why the fuck do you care?? I will not ask you this, and I will not respond when you ask me why I need an 80-gig iPod. I will just smile serenely and walk away.
17). Get more sleep.
18). Watch more stand up comedy.
19). Play more quiz. I think I like to play quiz just as much as Rob does, if not maybe a little more (I am less competitive about it than he is, thus I have more fun when I play). But I don't get to play as much as him. I would like this to change.
20). Buy more shirts. I'm always at a loss for shirts. It's so aggravating.
21). Read more books. As if I don't read enough now, averaging one per week. I'd like to make it two per week.
22). Revisit my novel.
23). Get more pedicures.
24). Get more massages.
25). Watch more sunsets.
26). Read Jane Austen. I have weirdly never read any Jane Austen except for Pride and Prejudice at the ill-advised age of 12, when it was foisted upon me by a friend's mother. I didn't understand a fucking word of it. So now, having seen all the fantastic BBC movies a million times each and knowing they can't possibly compare to the actual novels, and feeling slightly guilty about it as well, I feel it's time. Since Harry Potter's done, I've got to read something, right??
27). And in that vein, read Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. I know a thousand people (read: women) who read this series religiously and swear to me that it's really, really, really good. Apparently there's Scotland and this woman who goes back in time and men in kilts running about and stuff like that. It sounds a little romance-y, but it is not stocked in the Romance section of any bookstore, not even the Tattered Cover, and I am confident that these women friends of mine wouldn't read it if it were romance in disguise, so I'm going to give a go. I bought the first one the other night. It's 600 pages, and that's just the first one in a looooong series. So right away I love it, and I haven't even started reading it yet.
28). Quit whining about my hair and actually have better hair.
29). Figure out how to play Bakugan. For Daniel's sake.
30). Be more organized. Especially when it comes to time. I'm always forgetting to get things done or forgetting about plans I've made, or scheduling meetings and forgetting about them until the day before at 4:15 so guess what, I haven't prepared. If I were more on top of my calendar, it wouldn't be such an issue.
31). Keep more groceries in the house. This is so we can avoid all the last-minute trips to the store when we're panicking over what to make for dinner. We have gotten into a bad habit of not doing a big grocery shop on a regular basis, which means we run out of staples more often than we should. I can't even think of the last time we did a big shop -- December, probably.
32). Make more Rice Krispies Treats. Easy enough!
33). Get more manicures.
34). And pedicures.
35). Spend more time with Aspen. And Stacey and Nate. I guess. Since they're her parents.
36). Stay on top of my scrapbooking. I'm in a really good place with it right now, and feel like I can maintain it if I make sure to set aside one crop day per month.
37). Keep the house cleaner. We used to be so good about this and the last several months, since just before our wedding, we've been horribly lazy about it. It's really hard to climb out of that hole once you get into it, but I will insist that we make the effort.
38). Use my computer instead of continuing to hog Rob's. It's just that, his is the laptop, and thus one can sit in the big comfy chair with it instead of at the desk...
39). Drink more tea. More tea, less Diet Pepsi, maybe. Maybe that's the ultimate goal to shoot for with this one.
Damn, 39 was difficult. I better start thinking of the 40 I'm going to need for next year...