Chuck E. Cheese is close to my version of what hell is probably like. Chuck E. Cheese with lots of spiders.
An hour of homework in the third grade is stupid. We don't even go to private school.
Is my new office the McDonald's of insurance? I've been promoted after only two months.
No one gives a shit about your wedding planning. Just send me an invite and make sure there's lots of free booze.
You know, high school in the 1980s was really not attractive. Not at all.
As soon as my son goes to bed and before Rob gets home, I'm watching 17 Again. Prime Zac Efron viewing time.
I don't care what Heather says. Bandslam looks like an okay movie.
I could really go for some decent barbecue.
Also, one time last summer the Dahls made homemade salsa out of their homegrown heirloom tomatoes. Sometimes I dream about that salsa.
I can't even tell you how bad my hair looks right now. It's almost like I've given up. Almost.
If I was having a baby boy, I'd name him Aragorn. Just to annoy people.
How can Degrassi suck so bad and yet be so good?
I just took a really funny Facebook quiz that told me how much Jesus thinks I suck. Except it wasn't supposed to be funny.