Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A Short List of Things I Find Way More Offensive Than Justin Bieber

1. Republicans.

2. spiders

3. Train

4. Miley Cyrus

5. shitty beer

6. mud tracks on the carpet

7. People who drive with their heads up their asses.

8. The Goo Goo Dolls.

9. Ill-fitting clothing that I have to look at on other people.

10. Lengthy periods of cold weather.

11. Violence.

12. Racism.

13. Anti-gay sentiment.

14. Pro-lifers who believe they should kill fully grown humans in order to "protect" fetuses.

15. Poorly written books that I had to pay money for.

16. Pro-Activ ads.

17. Jeanelle on Teen Mom 2.

18. Hypocrisy.

19. Religious fanatics. Of any religion.

20. Willful stupidity.

21. Monday mornings.

22. Sick people who come to work anyway.

23. Farts in the car.

24. People who chomp their gum.

25. People who wander around the grocery store like they're the only people there, stopping in the middle of aisles, blocking aisles, chit chatting with their neighbors in the middle of the walkways... etc. etc.

26. Stupid boring sitcoms that pander to the lowest common denominator.

27. Low budget ads on television.

28. Anyone in management at my old office. (See numbers 18 and 19.)

29. Limp pickles.

30. Neighbors who can't be arsed to throw away their baggies of doggie poop, instead leaving it on the staircase landings for others to... enjoy.

Yeah. I could go on...


Sadako said...

Justin Bieber is nothing if not unfailingly bland. :)

Shannon said...

ExACTly. :)