Friday, May 20, 2005

The Idiot Fangirl's Guide to Life

Some of you may have no inkling what I'm on about, and that's all right. This is just solely for the entertainment of me, Mel, and select others.

How to Be An Idiot Fangirl:

1). Ideal Age: 10-13. 14 is okay as long as you've just turned.
2). You must also be smart for your age.
3). Smart for your age, but too stupid to act smart.
4). Stalk boys on web forums. Best ages: 15-20.
5). Post threats on said forums about older girls who are friends with the boy you are stalking. Get all your idiot fangirl friends to post. Threaten to kill people. Act all psycho.
6). Get invited into chats with important members of forums.
7). Try to divert all attention away from older, smarter girls and onto you. Use any means necessary.
8). Start calling people bitches when they won't stop talking about geeks like Colin Firth and Martin Freeman. Who the hell are those dudes anyway??
9). Act all pissy when everyone ignores you in chat.
10). Storm out in a huff. Or as much of a huff as you can muster, being as how this IS the internet.
11). Pick fight with your biggest Idiot Fangirl competition.
12). Get her kicked off forums. Then pretend you were on her side all along by posting about how unfair it was that she got banned.
13). Go into serious discussion threads. Post something stupid. Only spell two words out of every 9 correctly.
14). Keep hammering away at your point, even though it is pointless. Get mad when older, smarter people tell you to stop. Keep bringing it up again.
15). Private Message boys all day. Check your controls every two minutes for a reply.
16). Send note to moderator when no replies. Something must be wrong with your controls; you must not be receiving messages.
17). Sneak around reading posts of older girls you hate.
18). Disuss ways to get even with them in chat with other idiot fangirls.
19). Get in fight with other fangirls in chat.
20). Post in threads where your fave boy posts his poetry. Assume you understand it. Tell him that no one "gets you" like he does.
21). Start over at step 1.

1 comment:

melissa said...

I love, love, LOVE this!!!

I seriously can't believe how much all of those chicks hate me! You know I'm not joking about that, either. I could list them, but of course you know who I'm talking about. Otherwise you wouldn't have made such an important guide. :)

I can't believe how snotty and rude they are to me and I don't even know them! There are some who are even making excuses for their actions saying, "Oh, she's got a boyfriend now, so you don't have to worry" or "Oh, she doesn't hate you, she just feels threatened." Threatened by what??? Kindness and maturity be damned!

My favorite by far is #20. That's just hilarious. It's funny because I hadn't realized JUST how psycho these girls really are until I read this and realized how much of it is true and how much of it has actually been done to me...


Thanks, babe! Made me laugh hysterically. :)