For you, Neerod...

Yes I am a pirate... but not a very scary one. I'm the sort of pirate you want to just kiss on the cheeks and laugh with.

Rebuttal

It has recently been suggested that Ginny Weasley is not worthy of Harry Potter's love; that Hermione Granger is a bit of a wet blanket; and that Ronald Weasley is a twit... and unworthy of Hermione's love. And I have to say, I heartily disagree... heartily.

Ginny Weasley is gutsy and strong; she has always proven herself thus. She is not some lovestruck girl waiting on her romantic hero to come back to her. Just because she plants an amazing kiss on him in honor of his 17th birthday doesn't make her lovestruck -- she does it to remind Harry that he has something, someone to live for, someone to come back to after his task is complete. She steps up when she needs to step up -- plays Quidditch with the best of them, has a wicked sense of humor (cultivated by older brothers George and Fred), holds her own in a battle. And she has a deep understanding of what Harry's been through, and what he needs, because she was his friend first and his girlfriend later. Apparently she's really hot, too, which I hear tell men find to be a big added bonus.

And I just can't have people insulting Ron Weasley. Ron Weasley is Our King. Ron Weasley is hilarious, a true and loyal friend, a brave Gryffindor, at times a voice of reason, and someone capable of great things. He grows tremendously through the course of 7 books, and Hermione, astute of character as she is, understands him and what he is capable of. Indeed, I feel sorry for anyone who isn't capable of understanding Ron, because he is one of the most fun characters in the entire series -- all those small things I love about JK Rowling's writing all wrapped into one tall redheaded dude. But most importantly is his ability to be a true loyal friend, and his ability to admit when he's been a prat. And sometimes, just being the very best friend you can be is enough, and this is why Harry and Hermione both see something in Ron that others may not.

As for Hermione... I'm not sure what else people want from this girl. Has she not done enough? I think the whole point behind Hermione as a character is to show that brains are enough -- you don't need to be beautiful (even though rumor has it she cleans up pretty nice), you don't need to be funny, you don't need to be sporty, because being smart is enough. We didn't have to see Hermione destroy the horcrux she destroyed, because that's not what we're supposed to see about Hermione. We're supposed to see "cool intellect in the face of fire" -- Dumbledore's words at the end of book 1, and the words about Hermione that stick with me longer than any others. But in addition to her considerable intellect, she too is a loyal friend and a person capable of seeing in others what they often fail to see in themselves. She teaches Harry and Ron -- and everyone around her, whether they admit it or not -- so much, and all she asks in return is that no one ever insult her intelligence. Just because the books aren't called "Hermione Granger and the dot-dot-dot" doesn't discount the fact that she's one of the strongest female characters I've ever seen in children's literature. Strong to me isn't a physical thing, it's a character thing, and Hermione's strength of character is probably greater than any other character in the Harry Potter series... Dumbledore included.

And yet, she can kick a Death Eater's ass in a duel with the best of them.

I think sometimes, in literature as well as life, we just need to accept that what people have to offer is enough, rather than projecting our own needs and desires onto them and expecting them to meet these needs and desires.

Ginny is a goddess. Ron Weasley is a hero. Hermione is a genius.

June 2007 Playlist

I can't believe I keep going so long without posting in here, but I do want to share my June 2007 iPod playlist because I think it's worth my time and energy to do so, and worth your time and energy to give some of these tunes a listen. So:

Jet - Paul McCartney and Wings. This is a good song for summer. I was pretty excited when iTunes put up the Paul McCartney catalogue -- he's done some good stuff in his post-Beatles career. Also, this reminds of a summer when I was 19 and working at the movie theatre and this hot punk boy named Jeph also worked there and my friend Tanya and I were all into him and we made up a song about him to the tune of "Jet" by Wings... That's just how we roll.

Town Called Malice - The Jam. A forgotten gem. I love songs by angry British post-punk bands from the early 1980s. I'm sure this song is a rant directed at Margaret Thatcher; I'm just not positive of all the lyrics, so I can't say for certain. But it featured very heavily in a pivotal scene in Billy Elliot, so I'm sure it's about feeling screwed over by the shitty system. I don't know. If you're not into caring what lyrics say, it's got a really great beat and you -- and Billy Elliot -- can dance to it.

5:55 -- Charlotte Gainsbourg. I've been trying really hard to ignore Charlotte Gainsbourg's album because it's such a critical fave, and I find I'm often so bored by the stuff that every music critic on the planet loves. But I gave the album a listen the other day and was quite taken by the fact that it sounds like Air with a chick singing. Which isn't surprising, given that Air produced and played on the whole thing and she just did the singing. So... it's Air with a chick singing. Lovely stuff.

Dancing Queen - Abba. I've been listening to far too much Mika and Scissor Sisters lately and that's put me in the mood for Abba. I had this distressing moment the other day where I realized that my ex somehow kept the Abba cds in the breakup and all I had on my iPod was the Mamma Mia! soundtrack. So I got some Abba tunes and they are making me happy. Especially this one, as it was the theme of Muriel's Wedding, and I'm getting married. Not that one has anything to do with the other.

Os Novos Yorkinos - Bebel Gilberto. Lovely, lovely stuff. I lurves me a little bossa nova. And Bebel's voice will make you melt. Which makes this good for summer. If it ever actually gets hot out, that is.

Knock 'Em Out - Lily Allen. Another critical darling I wanted to hate, and actually, a lot of her songs I do hate. But not this one. This one's just good times. Chicks out having fun, and irritated by annoying blokes trying to chat them up. Get stuffed, blokes! Which is what Lily says but not exactly in those words...

Oh No - Lavender Diamond. I love Lavender Diamond the same way I loved Arcade Fire when I first heard them -- it's retro in feel, but just sounds so unlike anything I've heard recently or even not recently. The lead singer was training to be an opera singer, but she wasn't excited about that and kept doing these side projects with different musician friends, and eventually she brought them all into one room and they became Lavender Diamond. I love her voice.

Any Other World - Mika. I love Mika because he's everything that's good about ELO, old Elton John, and Queen with a dash of Cher all rolled into one cute package. And this song is everything that's good about that.

Beautiful Flower - India.Arie. I'm a sucker for India.Arie. Her voice is gorgeous -- deep and rich and lovely. And she's so positive. I'm sure that's why she's not more popular than she is -- the constant positivity put forth in her music. This particular song was inspired by the young girls of Oprah's Leadership Academy in South Africa. How bad can a song be that just wants to tell the young girls of the world that they're all beautiful and amazing?

SOS - Abba. More Abba. I like the harmonies on the chorus. I'm a sucker for a good Abba harmony.

Feel Better - The Nadas. I was turned on to the Nadas by Brandon Routh, who played Clark Kent in Superman Returns. Not that I know Brandon Routh or anything -- the Nadas were on his iTunes Celebrity Playlist. I wound up downloading three complete Nadas albums. This is my current favorite Nadas song. It's what a jam band would sound like if a jam band actually had a point.

Maybe I Should Drive - Trashcan Sinatras. This wound up on the playlist out of brief (10 minutes, maybe less) nostalgia for the early 1990s. Then I realized how much the early 1990s sucked, but I still like the Trashcan Sinatras. Kind of a precursor to Pulp and Blur and everything that's good about Brit Pop.

True Beauty - Mandisa. Daniel and I loved Mandisa last year on American Idol. She put voters off by performing a gospel song too early in the proceedings and got ousted. I thought she was gorgeous when she was on the show, but boy, that was nothing compared to how beautiful she looks on the cover of her new album. This is another song by another strong black woman about what beauty really is... what's inside.

Can't Tell Me Nothing - Kanye West. Actually, I'm really disappointed by this. It feels really self-indulgent, and it just doesn't have that vibe, that energy, I've come to expect from Kanye. Here's hoping the rest of the album is way better.

Our Last Summer - Abba. Yeah, again with the Abba. I loves me some Abba. I love this song because it's about Paris in summer, and I loves me some Paris in summer.

Secondhand Serenade - Vulnerable. I'm not sure it's appropriate for "vulnerable" to sound so much like "adorable," but this song does have some really nice guitar hooks.

Stolen - Dashboard Confessional. I know, it's so emotastic of me. But this is a really good song.

Far Away - The Nadas. This is Rob's pick for Nadas Tune of the Month.

Open Your Heart - Lavender Diamond. Another gem from my new discovery. Kind of melancholy, but not. This is the sort of music I wanted to listen to in high school, but the only approximation was Strawberry Switchblade and The Lover Speaks. I could have done with a few more groups like this.

The Operation - Charlotte Gainsbourg. A little bit morose, but in a good way. This one's all in French, I believe, so it just gives you space to think. Unless you speak French, of course.

Smile - Lily Allen. I still can't decide if I really like this tune or not, but Rob likes it, so I put it on the list to give it a fair shake. I can't play it around Daniel though, as it has bad words. I like the singing better than the music itself, which is sort of unusual for me.

Azul - Bebel Gilberto. More melting.

Love Song in B Flat - The Nadas. This is also Rob's choice. It's actually not one of my Nadas favorites, but I suspect he loves it because it's all romantic and stuff. That's just the way he rolls.

Only the World - Mandisa. This is a fine example of how uncrappy Christian music could be if only Christian artists made more of an effort, but then, this is also more in the Gospel music tradition than the Christian rock/pop "tradition." I love Mandisa. I think there's hope for her.

Set Yourself on Fire - Charlotte Gainsbourg. Again. See how I loves me some Charlotte Gainsbourg?

Momento - Bebel Gilberto. I also love melting.

Take It Away - Paul McCartney. This was one of my favorite videos back in the early years of MTV. We're going to break out some cheesey dance moves to this song at our wedding.

Happy Ending - Mika. Oddly, I didn't put this at the end of the playlist on purpose, it just sort of got moved down there as other songs got moved up. But it's more vintage Mika. And I dig that.

That's it for now; it's a pretty short playlist for me. But I do plan on adding a few songs. I think it needs some old Rod Stewart, and maybe some Arcade Fire. We'll see.

Also, on my list of links, I've added a blog I stumbled across quite by accident called "Getting the Girls." It's totally not what you think -- it's by an American family adopting two Ukrainian girls who have grown up in an orphanage in Odessa. It's so touching -- totally check it out if you have some spare minutes. You'll be totally sucked in like I was.

Vindicated!!

Some of you might know that I am one of that rare and most irritating breed of drivers, the kind who drive mostly at the posted speed limit or maybe up to 5 miles an hour above, unless I am out on the open highway in which case I will take it up to about 19 over the limit. I drive this way for practical as well as safety reasons -- being an insurance agent, I see daily the toll speeding takes on a person's insurance premiums, and I also see details of the sorts of grisly accidents that happen when someone who thinks they're a good driver speeds and loses control of their vehicle -- total freakish accidents, and always attributable to speed. I also have issues with people who speed with their children in the car; I think it is all fine and well to take one's own life into one's hands by speeding or driving carelessly, but not a child's. You'll find that 93% of police officers agree with me on that, and anytime you're pulled over by one of that 93% for speeding with your child in the vehicle, you will never talk your way out of a ticket.

But it's not generally something I get up on a soapbox about or anything; I could care less what you do when you're driving your car as long as it doesn't affect me directly. I'm not going to lecture anyone for driving like a maniac unless they are taking my son somewhere, and occasionally I'll let someone know I'm not in a huge hurry if I'm in the care with them and they happen to be barreling down the road at twice the speed limit or something.

What does irritate me to no end is this: police cars who are sitting in a speed trap who don't pull anyone over when a car flies past at several miles an hour over the limit. What are they waiting for, someone to cause an accident, and then they'll start dishing out tickets? What is the point of the speed trap when no one has to actually slow down?

So imagine my neverending delight this afternoon at the following scenario: I'm driving back to the office from an appointment, actually doing about 10 over the limit for a change because I'm feeling sorta zany. I'm coming up to the place on this freeway where the speed limit abruptly goes down to 45 from 55, and where cops often set up a speed trap. I'm out in the left lane because amazingly, I was driving faster than the people in the right lane -- this is rare for me any more, it really is. As the traffic crests the hill, the lower speed limit sign is there, and just a little ways ahead, I and anyone else with half a brain can see one of Colorado's finest parked on the right, just outside the trailer park, waiting... and everyone slows down.

Everyone, that is, except the jackhole who came flying up behind me at 70 miles an hour, slammed his brakes on three inches from my bumper, and proceeded to switch abruptly from left lane to right and back to the left, trying to get around me and all the other slow drivers. I mean, am I really expected to believe he didn't see the cop? Everyone else did! And sure enough, as I'm cruising along at a safe distance behind the car in front of me, I see the cop put his car into gear, turn on his lights, and make his way into the traffic. And the jackhole behind me just rides my bumper some more, and then veers again into the right lane, and accelerates, and the cop got right behind him and pulled the halfwit over.

It was all I could do not to put my hands in the air in a victory gesture. What a stupid moron. I hope he got ticketed for following too close in addition to the ticket for speeding 20 miles an hour over the limit. 4 points! Haha. He'll be paying for that ticket for three years by way of an increased insurance premium. Hope it was worth it. Don't see how it could've been, given that he had to stop for the cop and all, and didn't even get where he was going 5 seconds faster than he would have if he'd just slowed down with the rest of us...

It was totally awesome.

You Win! A Life Partner, and 25 Bucks

So, as many of you faithful readers of my blog already know, Rob and I are engaged. He proposed on Thursday night at one of our favorite pub quizzes. If you click the link below, you can see some photos and the quizmaster's blogging about the occasion:

http://www.geekswhodrink.com/blog/

The proposal was amazing, so I'm going to go on about it a bit here, since I promised so many of you details. I had known for weeks that Rob was up to something, and had a pretty good idea that perhaps he was planning to propose (emails and secretive conversations with my sister; strange meetings with my parents; viewing jewelry websites and then leaving them in the cache for me to stumble upon later; rifling through my jewelry box for a ring; etc.), but I had no idea where or when. Valentine's Day and my birthday both came and went, so I figured maybe I'd misread the signs, or else he just wasn't planning it for any time soon. So I was pretty surprised when he made a whole production out of proposing at trivia.

The first sign of something being up that night was that, while he told me he was guest-hosting the music round, he refused to tell me what the theme was, or any of the songs he was using. Then, he got there before me, which meant that he left work early, and his excuse was that he came early to "practice" for the music round. Um, whatever!? Then, the guy who started Geeks Who Drink was there; Rob said it was because he was there to check that Jason, the quizmaster, was doing a good job... a quality control inspection. I thought that sounded stupid since Jason had been doing the quiz for a while, but I just let it go. Then two more quizmasters from different pubs showed up, and that too was very strange, especially given that one of them had his quiz to host later that night; their excuse was that supposedly, Jason was training someone that night, and they had to watch and learn how to train. That sort of made sense in a weird way; too bad Jason was standing up there all by himself.

The quiz began; we were playing with Kyle and Nicole, and we had a great first round. Then it was time for Rob to head up front to do the music round for round 2. As Jason started introducing him, Rob went into the bathroom, which was pretty funny; we joked about how he must have been really nervous about his music round, but little did I know how nervous he really was. So, he came out and went up to the front, and introduced the round as "Songs that have the word EVIL in the title." Kyle shoved our answer pad and pen over to me, but I passed it back as soon as Rob played the first song -- something by Metallica that turned out to be called "Am I Evil" (all this evilness, by the way, is owing to Rob's trivia nickname, Evil Rob). I believe I said, "I'm gonna suck at this round. I don't know ANY songs with the word evil in their titles."

Then, that wretched song from the 1970s, "Shannon," began playing, and while I cringed, because I hate that song and assumed Rob was just trying to be cute and torture me, the entire bar erupted in protest, since it doesn't have evil in its title. Rob accused the quizmaster of tampering with his music round, and then moved onto song number 3, which was some silly song by Vanilla Ice, apparently called "I Love You" -- this was all lost on me, given that I have never voluntarily listened to a Vanilla Ice song in my life. But then suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone who looked a lot like my brother in law Nate stroll into the restaurant and set down a baby carrier, and when he stood up, I saw that it was definitely him, and my sister Stacey was close behind. And then I saw my friends Beth and David standing back there too. So naturally, I got up to go say hello and ask what the heck they were doing there, and when I did that, I noticed some other friends over by the door to the establishment, pretending to read the free newspapers. And I began to get suspicious.

By the this time, the songs had shifted to all being "our songs" -- "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys; "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol; "Tupelo Honey" by Van Morrison; and "The Adventure" by Angels and Airwaves. I was still quite concerned with getting the round answered correctly, but mysteriously nervous and blanking out on the names of these songs!! The final song I didn't know at all ("Wedding Bell Blues" by the Fifth Dimension), and I was all flummoxed and not at all clear about what was happening.

Then Rob announced that there would be a bonus question for that round, even though there isn't normally a bonus question for the music round. But he said the bonus question was only for one person in the room, and that the prize wasn't a free pint. And the entire place got silent, and he said, "Shannon, will you marry me?"

I of course flipped out and started crying, and ran up front and hugged him and said "Of course I'll marry you!" And everyone was cheering and congratulating us and I was shaking and crying and stuff. And then I made my way back to our table where all our friends were waiting; Rob had invited them all to share in the festivities. He produced a little velvet box from his pocket and his hands were totally shaking, and he kept turning the box around and around, trying to find the side that opened, and then handed me a beautiful ring.

Later, after the game was over and we scraped a win in overtime, Jason the quizmaster came over and said, "All right! You win! A life partner, and 25 bucks!"

It was totally an awesome and special proposal, and I was beyond thrilled. I'm so excited to marry Rob and spend the adventure of life with him at my side.

Funny Stuff

The first funny thing I want to mention is this DVD I'm seeing advertised called "The Miracle Man" or whatever, a strange looking claymation tale of Jesus, just in time for Easter. It's not the claymation that's funny though -- it's the fact that Ralph Fiennes does the voice of Jesus in the movie. This is funny because this is the same dude who plays Voldemort, the epitome of evil, in the Harry Potter movies. I know he's an actor and these are just roles he's been given, but still -- it's funny. Lord Voldemort is the Lord Jesus. Hmm.

Next up, the lady with the Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich. She turned up on Miami Ink tonight (why is it that I only ever blog during Tuesday night viewings of Miami Ink??), wanting a tattoo of said grilled cheese sandwich, which she had archivally framed in a shadow box setting and recently sold for $28,000. She wanted the tattoo so she would always have her Virgin Mary grilled cheese with her. So apparently, this woman has this huge following of worshippers or whatever, just because one morning she woke up, cooked a grilled cheese, and saw an image charred into it that looked like the Virgin. It definitely looks like the face of a woman, but having never seen Mary, I have no idea if it's her or not. What I don't get is why this woman has a following. I could see the grilled cheese having a following, but what's so special about this woman? She got the tattoo on her boob, too. That seems like a weird place to get a tattoo of a grilled cheese with a picture of the Virgin Mary in it.

Kat did a really good job on the tat, though. It totally looked exactly like the grilled cheese in question.

The men on American Idol this season are soooo booooring. I like exactly two of them: Chris Sligh, and the beat boxing dude. I'm already over the men. Totally over them. Bo-ring.

It's Almost My Birthday

I was just looking over my resolutions and they seem pretty keep-able. I've been thinking a lot about the tattoo, and I think I know what I'm going to get. I'm dead serious about going to Miami Ink, and I'm going to get a tat from Kat, who does really amazing portraits. And I think I'm going to get my two grandmothers on my arm, using photos of them from the early 1940s. It'll be so amazing.

Daniel has informed me that he's going to have Yohji do a tattoo for him when he's old enough. He's all, "Yohji rocks! Kat's boring!" I love it when Daniel get all hip on me.

Rob's mad because I still haven't posted his Proust questionnaire.

The Astronaut Farmer looks like a terrible movie. I mean, the only redeeming feature is Billy Bob Thornton, and I think we all know that's not necessarily a good thing.

See, this is what I usually do in my LiveJournal and don't subject the rest of you to. But I was feeling all bloggy tonight.

I've got frickin' All American Rejects' "This Ends Tonight" stuck in my head. Not cool.

I got the teensiest bit of laundry detergent on my lip earlier (long story short: it got on my fingers, I wiped most of it off, but missed some, and scratched my mouth or something and got it on my lip) and then licked it off and swallowed it, and so now I've been tasting damn laundry detergent for like an entire hour.

I'm not feeling American Idol yet this year. Usually I'm excited about SOMEONE by this stage in the game, but no. All I can muster is something resembling enthusiasm for Chris Sligh, who totally rocks.

I'm having a bowling party for my birthday on Saturday. I'm so excited. What's so hilarious is how excited people are about coming! If I'd known that all it took was mere mention of the word "bowling" to get a bunch of fun friends in one room, I'd have hosted a bowling party much sooner. Of course, Rob, Daniel and I suck at bowling, but we have a blast doing it. Apparently some of the party attendees are really good bowlers, so I'm hoping they'll kick my ass on my birthday. Something sick in my personality thinks that would be so funny.

I'm itchy. Specifically, my pinkie finger is itchy. How weird is that? An itchy finger. That seems odd.

Resolved

I can hear all of you snarking about how amazing it is that I've actually posted something new...

I've decided to take a page out of my sister's blog and make some New Year's resolutions. Except for me, the new year never really truly starts until closer to my birthday, so it's perfectly okay that I'm only just making the resolutions. So here they are:

1) Quit thinking that homework in kindergarten is stupid and just get it done.

2) Get to work on time more than twice a week.

3) Go a little deeper than "I love you" when I'm talking to Rob. I'm sure he'll understand.

4) Start saving up for my Miami Ink tattoo. I'm thinking Daniel's face on my upper arm. But I will likely chicken out and get it on my back...

5) Don't chicken out -- get the tattoo where I want it.

6) Keep better track of the books I read. Last year, I read about 100 books but only managed to write anything down about maybe 30 of them. Lame.

7) Figure out what the hell is wrong with the big toe on my right foot.

8) Finish reading U2 By U2 by the end of February (that one's for you, Trentster!).

9) Exercise.

10) Eat better food.

11) Learn to cook Indian food.

12) Work on my novel.

13) Put the Christmas decorations away before St. Patrick's Day.

14) Get car fixed.

15) Win more trivia contests. It feels good to win trivia contests. Or get second place when there's decent money on the line... Google "Geek Bowl 2007" for details... Being a geek is totally fun.

16) Speaking of being a geek, get really good costumes for Renaissance Fest.

17) Figure out long term solution for sensitive skin. Am tired of breaking out in hives at the slightest provocation.

18) Stay in better touch with people who live far away. For example, I haven't sent out Christmas cards since Hal and I were together. That's not on.

19) Brainwash my niece into liking good music. Of course, maybe this can wait a year or two, but really, it's important to begin early or people wind up like her dad, listening to KOSI 101.

20) Drink more tea.

21) Quit letting Daniel watch inappropriate television (i.e. Heroes, Lost, The O.C.).

22) Seriously: WTF is wrong with my big toe? It just gets worse and worse.

23) Stop judging grown women who talk like infants. I'm sure they're lovely people deep down.

24) Set some new goals.

25) Get addresses changed on ALL magazine subscriptions, not just the three I've done...

26) Blog more often.

27) Make final decision as to whether or not I'm going to become an American citizen before 2008 Presidential election.

28) Buy more shoes.

29) Stop prioritizing t.v. shows.

30) Prioritize comics instead.

31) Host "Potter Party" for fellow HP geeks on July 21st.

32) Get something fabulous done with my hair.

33) Buy bookcases.

34) Learn how to bowl properly. Am certain it will still be fun if done properly.

35) Stop fantasizing about Captain America. And Tony Stark. And Bruce Wayne. And Supergirl. They are comic book characters and therefore inappropriate to fantasize about.

36) Put more effort into photography.

37) Only make resolutions I'm capable of keeping.

There -- I'll be 37 on my birthday, so 37 resolutions it is.

Stay tuned for some pic spam and a Proust Questionnaire from the love of my life. The bald one, not the short one.

Christmas Wishes

Since I haven't posted anything reasonably entertaining for over a month, it shouldn't bother anyone if I take time out for the McEwen Family Christmas wish lists. So here goes...

Mom:
Wondrous White Wines from the Vineyard (contact Sam for assistance on this one)

Dad:
Merrell Tundra Boots at REI -- size 11 -- $99.95. Catalog #725-586. These only come in one color. He went into the store and found them, so presumably you can too, but here is a link to them on the REI website as well: http://www.rei.com/online/store/ProductDisplay?storeId=8000&catalogId=40000008000&productId=47924528&parent_category_rn=4501323&vcat=REI_SSHP_FOOTWEAR_TOC



Lianne:
Gift card to Lands End
Gift card to Yankee Candle Company

Sam:
Clothes (casual sweaters and tops) XL
Walkman (CD)
Gift certificate to Golf Galaxy or equivalent (to go towards a golf bag)

Shannon:

A large stockpot, like this one (Mom would know where to find this stuff without shopping online): http://www.amazon.com/Calphalon-Commercial-Anodized-12-Quart-Stockpot/dp/B00004SY7G/sr=1-2/qid=1165701199/ref=sr_1_2/102-2825748-3560114?ie=UTF8&s=kitchen

And a dutch oven, like this: http://www.amazon.com/Innova-Color-Porcelain-Enameled-5-Quart/dp/B0000DJBK5/sr=1-3/qid=1165701449/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3/102-2825748-3560114?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden

Those links were just for an idea; I don't care what brand or color they are as long as they're sturdy and well-made.

Rob: Rob was all cute and wrote a letter to his Secret Santa -- I'll just post it in its entirety...

Dear Secret Santa,

Here are some suggestions for me:

--Clothes. I'm guessing this is even more obvious to you than it is to me. My shirt size is either XL or 2X, preferably tall size if available. Pants are a bit tricky; I know I'm a 34 inseam, I'm pretty sure my waist is down to a 38-40 but I'm still losing weight. Consultmy fashion guru/love of my life Shannon if you need suggestions.

--A new watch. My current one is 8 years old and banged up almost to the point that I can't read the display. I don't have much of a preference as to style, just make sure the band is either cloth or leather with a buckle; the stretchy metal bands catch my armhairs.

--DVDs. Any seasons of South Park would be awesome. Also Talladega Nights, Little Miss Sunshine (if it's out), Clerks 2, Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man, Ghost World (an old fave of mine that I don't have on DVD yet), Shaun of the Dead

--An iTunes gift card.

Thanks, looking forward to celebrating Christmas with everybody, and happy shopping!

Stacey:

Okay, I had a hard time thinking of something fun that I wouldn't buy myself, but I want an I-Pod Shuffle to use for running and stuff. It's only $79 at the Apple store or online:

http://store.apple.com/1-800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/AppleStore?family=iPodshuffle

Otherwise, I desperately need some new clothes and ski stuff, so I wouldn't mind a gift certificate to REI or LL Bean.

Nate:

Nate had an issue with getting his wish list to me in a timely fashion and I still haven't received an email he sent me this morning, so as soon as I receive it, I'll post his separately. I know it's snowboarding gloves and new lenses for his snowboarding goggles, but I don't know the exact details. :)

If anyone needs ideas for Daniel and Aspen, here are some:

Aspen could use clothes in the 3-6 month size. Also toys appropriate for an infant (these would be marked 0-6 months).

Daniel is still into superheroes, Mega Blocks Pyrates, and dinosaurs. He has expressed interest in a microscope as well, and he collects rocks and would also enjoy a stone polisher -- National Geographic Toys makes one that I've seen at Target.

Cheers!

Politics As Usual

I admit it: I am a Canadian citizen who has lived in the United States for 32 years with no intention of ever becoming a U.S. citizen, and yet, as a taxpayer, I do feel entitled to bitch all I want about the state of the States. You can shriek at me till you're blue in the face about how if I don't vote, I don't get to complain, and I will still not buy that. It's what makes America such a fabulous country: I can say whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want to say it. I hear tell that there are other places in the world where this sort of thing is frowned upon, and I love that I can do it here, and know they'd have shot me long ago in North Korea or wherever (I'm conjecturing -- I don't know much about life in North Korea, so I have no way of knowing how they treat dissenters there. I'm just assuming that in a country where you're expected to bow down to statues of your leader, shooting loudmouth dissenters is de rigeur).

And here's why I have yet to decide to become a citizen and bother voting (yes, I said bother): with candidates like these, who the hell would I vote for? Here's what one Congressional race in Colorado is right now: the Uber-Evil Marilyn Musgrave versus Angie "I'll Beat Your Ass Up" Paccione. And neither of them can give me one good reason to vote for them; instead, it's "Here's all the reasons why you shouldn't vote for her." And it's not like this is a phenomena related to this one race -- it's every race. To the best of my knowledge, the only positive campaign ad I've seen all season has been one in which a Democratic challenger for Congress has his daughters sing his praises in a very cute ad which constantly ran just before an attack ad from some group opposing his opponent. And unfortunately, he'd probably be a decent candidate, except I would excpect a truly decent candidate to stand up in public and say, "I'm sorry, I didn't authorize that ad, and I'm above its negative content. Since I'm the right choice for your vote, I don't feel a need to attack my opponent."

When that candidate comes along, I will perhaps look into handing over roughly $1,000 of my hard-earned salary to the Department of Homeland Security to process my paperwork and offer me citizenship.

There's something so depressing to me about having to cast a vote for the lesser of two evils, or to have to vote along party lines (and even now, you can't trust the Democrats to take care of a woman's right to choose or to children ahead of fighting a losing war) just to vote out evil members of the Religious Wrong (that's right, bitches -- I called you "evil," just like you call me and my single parenting, and my gay friends, and my Jewish son -- and I believe in your evilness more than you believe in God! Whaddya gonna do about it??). I admire those of you who do so with all the conviction you possess that you are doing the right thing.

In the meantime, I'm still a Canadian.

The Wiggles in Concert at MGM

 

Animal Kingdom Pals

 

Disney Disney Disney!!

 

WTF???

Okay, yes, technically I know that these are walking mops, come to life from some Disney film or another. But really, do they LOOK like mops? Can you therefore blame my mom and I are for briefly glancing at one another as they headed our way during the parade and saying, "What the hell are these giant hot dogs doing in the Disney parade??" No. You can't blame us.

Daniel's Pin Collection

 

Daniel Enjoys Epcot

 

Daniel Loves Him Some Princesses, Part 2

 

More New Friends!

 

A Kiss, and Some New Friends

 

Daniel Loves Him a Beautiful Princess!

 

Disneyworld Photos

 

Blogeurism

That's my new word. It's a combination of "blogging" and "voyeurism." Because it occurred to me this morning, as I was perusing random blogs and in some cases delving in deeply to the lives of people I don't even know, that this is merely voyeurism, except that I guess we're all sort of asking for it, if we're posting our lives on the web for everyone to see.

Personally, I find ordinary people way more fascinating than celebrities. I mean, I'll go to Gawker and stuff, probably more often than the next person, but reading about where Lindsay Lohan partied last night doesn't give me the same frisson of excitement that discovering in some random dude's blog that his favorite quote from a movie ever is the same as mine, or that the girl who writes She Just Walks Around With It has the same pair of sneakers that I do (only in a different color). I suppose this is because most days, I feel like the biggest fucking dork on the planet; I feel like no one I spend my day with (mainly coworkers, but sometimes family and friends) likes any of the same things I like or has any of the same opinions I do or has any of the same interests that I do. And so it's nice to know that I'm not THE biggest dork, but only one of many big dorks.

Some of the best things I've read about in random blogs lately:

1). Small-town Alberta teenagers cruising the highway over to the next town to pick a rumble with some kids over there that they don't get along with. (For some reason, there are a LOT of Canadians on Blogger.)

2). There's a woman who writes about the 100 reasons why she hates her husband. I think initially it was supposed to be kind of funny and maybe even tongue-in-cheek, but now it's gotten depressing. Depressing, but fascinating just the same.

3). I love photo bloggers! My favorite is this guy up in northern Ontario who keeps posting all these photos from an Inuit school project. (Again with the Canadians!)

4). There's this other guy who likes to post his responses to surveys similar to the stupid ones people fill their MySpace pages with, but these surveys are extra complicated, asking questions like "Steve McQueen or Marlon Brando?" And then he always throws in a paragraph's worth of explanation for his answer.

5). The guy who writes about which of his American friends he had dinner with that night. I'm not even sure where he's from -- he writes in English, but seems to be from Europe.

I'm always saddened, though, by the ones that are just like the shitty, pointless diaries we all kept in third grade. "Woke up, went to work, had a salad for dinner, talked the phone." Why does this need to be immortalized on the internet? I wouldn't even immortalize such things in my HEAD.

Lifetime Television for... um, whom?

In my family, we like to mock my older sister for watching far too many Lifetime Original movies. When she is not watching Lifetime, she is either out back smoking a cigarette, or watching The Hills and Laguna Beach on MTV. She is 38 years old, and agoraphobic (this is the diagnosis agreed upon by me, and by my aunt, who is a Canadian nurse, which gives the diagnosis some degree of professional cred). My sister is usually good-natured about the ribbing we give her. She knows the movies suck.

Lately, for some reason, my mother has also taken to watching Lifetime Original movies. And I've noticed that they all have the same characters and plot.

1. Nice woman with a sort of clueless husband and one or two children.

2. Crazy ass pyscho woman who is either a neighbor, or the nice woman's best friend.

3. Children, usually good and well-behaved, of the nice woman. These children will be eventually framed by Crazy Ass Psycho for bad behavior and somehow exonerated in the end.

4. Uninvolved, weak, stupid men.

The nice woman's very existence and life pisses off Crazy Ass Psycho, who then does everything in her power to dismantle this life, and kills a few people and family pets in the process. Eventually, someone -- usually one of the nice children -- cottons on to Crazy Ass Psycho's psychosis, and the police show up, and the two women fight, near to the death, and the nice woman wins.

Lifetime fancies itself "television for women."

Now, I ask you: is this entertaining? My mother and my sister will both tell you it's ludicrous and stupid, yet they can't turn away... similar to viewing a car accident on the interstate. I mean, I find this so bizarre. If something sucks, I change the channel. I find it hard to believe that this is the channel that caters to any sort of majority of women. I suspect CBS caters to more women than Lifetime.

I just don't get it.

Yeah, it's still me, and no, my LiveJournal doesn't diss you.

I just had to make a change. Preferably a change to something pink and girly. I was so over the navy blue with polka dots backdrop; everyone on Blogger uses that one, or the white version. And I don't care if you don't like my pink and girly blog template; my research shows that no one reads this anyway...

I suspect that there are select people out there who are not privy to my LiveJournal who believe that I use it to diss them. That is not necessarily the case, so stop being so narcissistic. I use my LiveJournal to have girl talk with my girls when they are not around to chat with. If you don't know what girl talk can involve, it's best you steer clear.

And, no, Evil Rob -- you still don't get to read it. Ever. It's just far too incriminating.

Bumper Stickers Are Stupid

Here's the thing about bumper stickers: they annoy people. That's all they do. Your bumper sticker even annoys the guy in the car behind you, who has 10 bumper stickers of his own. And have we sunk to such lows of rudeness in our society that we have to go out of our way to annoy one another? I mean, we all seem to be pretty capable of annoying each other just by the way we drive and the way we're so rude in line at the local Safeway and the way we slam doors in each other's faces as we're entering buildings... Do we really need to SHOP for annoying and then stick it on our cars?

Herewith, some of my favorite annoying stickers of the last week:

1). "Did the zebras paint the stripes on themselves?" This superimposed in bubble letters over a bunch of shiny zebras and crosses. It was, first of all, an ugly ass sticker. It reminded me of those heinous Lisa Frank metallic stickers we used to collect when we were in the 5th grade -- you know, totally covering every inch of our Trapper Keeper binders? So, a hideous eyesore to begin with. And then the ridiculous "in joke" of all the Creationists out there. "Ooh, if there's no God, how'd the zebras get their stripes?" I mean, is this the best argument you've got for Creation? Wow. And what's awesome and compelling about it can be distilled down to one small oval bumper sticker. That's amazing.

2). "Live well. Be happy. Annoy a liberal." Psssst, Conservatives! We're not the ones who are annoyed all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3). "W: Still President." I'm pretty sure this was on the bumper of a W supporter's car, but here's the thing: when you emphasize the still like that, it makes it sound like you think he's been president for an eternity. So it kind of defeats its own purpose. Other than to annoy everyone else on the road.

4). "If God's not a Broncos fan, why are sunsets orange?" Please.

5). "Av-aholic." Yeah, I know, even friends of mine have this sticker on their cars, expressing their fandom for the Colorado Avalanche. But why do we have to let complete strangers in traffic know what sports teams we support?

6). "Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty." Um, what, you stupid hippy?

7). "God loves the whole world. No exceptions." Oh really? I can think of a fair few.

8). "My dog/cat/parrot is smarter than your honor student." What?? Who cares? Are you so threatened by someone's honor student that you were compelled to buy this sticker?

9). "Hang up and drive." Inevitably on a vehicle being driven by some fucking jackass yammering away on a cell phone. Indeed.

10). "Visualize using your turn signal." This was originally a slam against freewheeling hippies with a "Visualize world peace" sticker on their cars. Apparently only hippies don't use turn signals. My research tells me the turn signal problem is more widespread than that, but what do I know? After all, I'm the chick who thinks bumper stickers are stupid.

11). "Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry." Christ, if that's the best comeback we've got, no wonder we can't win a damn election.

And then, don't you find yourself reacting to the annoying bumper stickers by countering them in your head with a bumper sticker you'd like to get? Yeah, fuck the Broncos, man, I'm gonna get a sticker that says "If the Devil's not a Raiders fan, why do they wear black?" (Weak, I know. I can't make up slogans to save my life.)

Sure, every now and then I see a bumper sticker I find funny. Slower minds keep right. That's a good one. And I wouldn't mind having selected quotes from Kevin Smith movies on a series of bumper stickers. But I doubt I would stick them on my car. I wouldn't want to anger people, thus setting up my car to be the target of some psycho who thinks bumper stickers are annoying and decides to retaliate against my sentiments by keying my car or hitting me in a parking lot or just kicking in a panel or two.

Not that someone would be driven to that.